Sex Ed
by Fidelius Charm
Summary: The teacher’s feel it is necessary for all upperclassmen to participate in Sex Ed. But what’s even worse is the longterm project. Poor Hermione how will she survive Malfoy and a mechanical baby watching their every move until Christmas?
1. Back To School

**Sex Ed**

_By Fidelius Charm_

Summary: The teacher's feel it is necessary for all upperclassmen to participate in Sex Ed. But what's even worse is the long-term project. Poor Hermione how will she survive Malfoy and a mechanical baby watching their every move until Christmas?

Note: I came up with this story when I received my timetable for classes this year, and Sex Ed was one of the classes I have to take during the fall, (In the spring I get to take Art History! I'm so excited) I thought to myself. How would the Slytherins react to Sex Ed? How would _Ron_ react to Sex Ed. I couldn't help not being able to control my laughter at Ron's reaction to the whole situation. I had to write this because of the priceless look it would plaster on Ron's face if he ever did have to sit through it.

Note: **(9/17/05) **This is the first of four chapter remodels. Some things have changed, but nothing major like the pairing. This is now an AU instead of a Post HBP because it was very hard for me to write the story without one of my favorite characters, Dumbledore. I'm still hoping he'll pop out of somewhere like Gandalf in Lord of the Rings, who knows, all I can do is hope.

**_Warning_**: This story contains some rather mature topics. I recommend if you haven't sat through a health class and/or a Sex Ed class you wait until you have until reading. Though I have no control of whether you continue reading or not.

* * *

**Back To School:**

**Get ready for a bumpy ride!**

Draco stared out of the window of the Hogwarts Express, yet another dismal year was soon to being at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and Draco was less then excited. Personally, he'd rather be in Bulgaria learning the Dark Arts at Durmstrang but his father insisted that he travel all this way to go to Hogwarts every year, so here Draco was, again.

"Did you hear," Blaise said to everyone, "I heard from Jenn Rush that there is going to be a new class for upperclassmen!"

"What kind of class?" Pansy asked, Blaise replied with a simple I don't know, "Well I have to head to the Prefect Meeting, stupid twits can't run their own meetings." With that Pansy had left the car.

In Hermione's part of the train there was similar conversation between Ginny and Luna, who were both known for knowing the latest gossip. Ginny was talking animatedly about the possibility of a Sex Ed class, Luna wouldn't hear a word of it and swore that it was going to be a Drama Class. Hermione sighed, trying her best not to pay attention, all she knew was that a new class would mean more work, and the possibility of having to use yet another Time Turner. She, Ron, and Harry had to excuse themselves from the group to head over to the Prefect Meeting. Harry had been made Prefect now that Ron was Head Boy.

He and Pansy Parkinson ran the meetings. Hermione never in a thousand years would have thought that Pansy Parkinson would be the next choice for Head Girl, she could've sworn it was Susan Bones or Terry Boot, or someone other then Pansy Parkinson. But what is done is done, and Hermione can't take back her resignation as Head Girl now.

Once the train had reached its destination, Harry, Hermione, and Ron were the first to sprint up to Hagrid and greet him. As usual they received a warm welcome and a warning to try their best to stay out of trouble this year. And Hagrid received the same reply,

"We really do try to stay out of trouble Hagrid," Harry would start.

"But it seems that with friends like Harry…" Ron would continue.

"Trouble just seems to follow us around." Hermione would end.

It was something that they had started back in third year; it was a mini tradition with coming to Hogwarts every year. Hagrid laughed and told them to get into one of the carriages or risk having to walk to the castle, and certainly no one wanted to take that long walk. As the students were heading towards the castle Hermione couldn't help but overhear some of the conversations going on.

"I heard there is going to be something called P.T. Class." Lavender said with a worried expression on her face, "It's a muggle class, I think it stands for Physical Torture!"

"Torture! What kind of class is that?" Neville Longbottom replied, his round blue eyes filled with concern.

"Yeah it's suppose to get students ready for the Tri-Wizard Tournament."

"First off you mean P.E. standing for Physical Education. And don't be silly," Hermione chimed in, "Why would they train upperclassmen for the Tri-Wizard Tournament if they won't even be here when it happens. It's total rubbish."

Lavender gave her a look of utter annoyance, but Hermione returned the look with a smile remembering her time spent in P.E. trying to pass but the teacher had it out for her. She laughed and got a questioning look from her two friends but she just brushed them off.

* * *

Draco couldn't believe what he was hearing, Crabbe and Goyle were talking amongst themselves about some muggle class called P.T. that, according to the Rush sisters, stood for Physical Torture and was meant to get upperclassmen ready for the Tri-Wizard Tournament. Draco didn't want to be the one to drop the bomb that it was impossible for that to be the reason because none of them would be able to participate in the tournament anyway.

The Slytherin horde was crowding around Draco like a mob as they made their way to the Slytherin Table, which was decorated in green and silver place settings. Draco took a seat and shortly after everyone around him did as well. To the other houses it was like Draco has suddenly become Slytherin royalty, and in a way he had, but not for reasons he was proud of. The welcome back processions bored Draco out of his mind, he never really did pay attention to the mumbling old bat who stood for everything Draco was suppose to hate.

"And I would like to settle all the rumors that have been circulating thanks to certain students in this school." He seemed to of give certain students accusing glances but no one could be certain, "There will be no Physical Torture class. Here at Hogwarts we do not believe in those kinds of methods of teaching. Oh the other hand the teachers feel that the upperclassmen must participate in a Sex Education course which will last for one term."

Whispers shot through the Great Hall between all houses. Everyone was shocked; no one had expected a Sex Ed. class. The last time Hogwarts had a Sex Ed class was during the first war with Voldemort. Draco looked over to the Gryffindor table and saw that the youngest of the Weasely children, Ginny was her name, was smiling and she seemed to be saying 'Told you so' to the girls around her. Draco turned away and stared at Pansy who didn't look pleased.

"This is absurd!" Pansy screeched pounding her fists on the table shaking the silverware. "What a waste of time!"

"For the first term the Slytherins and the Gryffindors will be taking this course." This triggered a chorus of moans from the two houses. Dumbledore motioned with his hands for them to quiet down, "And they will be taught by one of the greatest Medi-Witches to grace these Halls, Professor Mercedes Sickle!"

A young woman who was in her mid-twenties stood up at the staff table, she didn't seem out of the ordinary, like any medi-witch Draco had seen before. He turned back to his food and decided this was not of importance.

"I heard she's a Mudblood." Draco heard a fifth year Slytherin whisper to his girlfriend, "Disgusting!" Was her outraged reply.

Draco tuned everything out after that, concentrating on the food in front of him. He ate for two people, but the way his mother cooked who could blame the boy for wanting food that actually tasted like food and not ashes. It seemed like a good hour or so passed before anyone addressed him again.

"I have to leave in order to plan the Hogsmeade trips with the blood traitor." Pansy said pushing her plate away from her, "He better not do anything stupid or I'll have to curse him to death."

"Good luck with that Pansy, I would hate to have to put up with the stupid Weasel." Draco said putting yet another yam into his mouth.

"I would of never accepted this thing if I would have known _he_ would be the Head Boy."

"No turning back now is there?" Draco replied, popping in yet another yam.

"Guess not. I'll see you later." With that Pansy left leaving Draco and his yams in peace.

* * *

The next day was anything but calm for Hermione, from running to Transfiguration, to Ancient Runes and Potions (which unfortunately for Hermione are at the same time), now she was sitting in Charms with her classmates fighting to stay awake. But it wasn't that difficult with Neville whispering to her every second.

"Do you think it will be hard Hermione?" Neville would whisper, "I can't afford to do badly in another class, my Potion grades are bad as it is."

Hermione would reply that if he didn't leave her alone he'd have more important things to worry about. Like her cursing him into oblivion. This settled him for a few minutes and then he was bursting with questions again, and Hermione would have to repeat her empty threat. It went on like this for most of the period. Hermione wasn't worried about Sex Ed, it doesn't involve anything magical, so what would be the challenge?

Hermione walked with Harry and Ron into the classroom located near the Hospital Wing. No one had seen the room before, the teachers claimed that it popped out of no where and it was a good possibility, the castle had a mind of its own and things like random rooms popping out of no where didn't receive the attention you would think it normally would at any other school.

"Good Afternoon class I'm Professor Sickle and I will have the honor of teaching you for this term." She was definitely a strange woman, she seemed to be uncomfortable in her own skin, constantly squirming and fidgeting. She was wearing classic black teaching robes and her brown hair was in two braids, which reached to about her waste.

"Does something about her bother you?" Harry whispered to Hermione taking a seat in the middle of the room.

"Now that you mention it…" Ron replied.

"I think you all know why you are here. I am here to teach you about the ins and outs of Sex." Sickle's expression remained stoic while those of the students changed greatly. Some were laughing at the unusual pun the teacher had made, and for those who didn't understand they were just highly embarrassed about having to be there.

Pansy Parkinson had been one of the few students who had laughed at the comment, which earned her a curious glance from the Professor.

"Anything you would like to say Miss. Parkinson?"

Pansy's laughing immediately seized, "No—No ma'am."

"Good." Sickle smiled, "First I think it is necessary to discuss the term project, so that we can get started as soon as possible."

"Term Project?" Harry and Ron moan simultaneously.

"Hush, don't get us in trouble you two!" Hermione whispered.

"We will be conducting a muggle experiment with a magical twist. You all will be partnering up with a member of the opposite gender and temporarily become a fake married couple and have to raise a child."

Lavender Brown raised her hand immediately.

"Yes Lavender?"

"A child? How are we going to raise a child?" She looked a bit worried about the implications of the situation.

"This is where the magical part comes in." Sickle continued, she walked to a cabinet on the side of the room and opened it revealing realistic baby manikins lined up one after the other in nothing but diapers, "We will be enchanting these manikins to act like real children. The spells involved are very complex and you will not be required to know them, Headmaster Dumbledore and myself will be placing these charms on the manikins but what is required for the spell to work is a drop of blood from each parent."

Harry was taken back at this comment but knew that if Dumbledore supported it then there was nothing to be afraid of. Hermione smiled to reassure him, which calmed him down completely.

"At the end of the term you will return the babies to me and the spell will give me your grade, so you cannot neglect your baby, because it will be the grader not myself." Sickle smiled at the ingenious of her invention, "But first there is the matter of partners. I was thinking about assigning partners…" Many students gave each other worried looks, "But I came to the conclusion that the project would be more effective if it was with the partner of your choice."

There was a general sigh of relief.

"The girls will be choosing who will they will work with. Like a Sadie Hawkins Dance! And once the boy they ask says yes they are partners for the long haul, I will not be able to change partners after that." Professor Sickle warned, "So choose wisely. Oh and I need you to sign this paper saying you agree to the terms of the project, though really you have no choice. If you do not sign you'll fail…"

* * *

Hermione was sitting on her bed working on a Potions Assignment when Ginny came up to her.

"Hey 'Mione what are you up too?" Ginny asked sitting on the edge of her bed.

"Just finishing up this stupid Potions assignment Snape gave us on the first day." Hermione replied continuing to write on the parchment in front of her.

"Why don't you give the assignment a break and play Truth and Dare with me and the girls down in the common room." Ginny suggested.

"I'm really busy Ginny, I really would like to join you guys but I don't want to leave this assignment unfinished."

"I see how it is. You're just a chicken." Ginny said walking away.

"I am not!" Hermione shouted back, "I just have to do my work."

"You're just saying that, really you're afraid of playing with us. Afraid you have to admit some deep dark secret of something." Ginny said walking towards the door.

"I am not!" Hermione said putting down her books.

"I knew you'd change your mind." Ginny said heading down the staircase to the common room.

Hermione made her way down and sat next to Ginny in the circle that had been made by the Gryffindor girls.

"Now this will be fun!" Lavender said aloud, she clapped her hands, "Alright youngest goes first!"

"That's me!" a fifth year girl named Elizabeth squealed with excitement, "Ginny! Truth or Dare?"

Ginny said contemplating the choices for only a few seconds.

"Truth."

"So what's _really_ going on between you and the illustrious Harry Potter?" Elizabeth said curiously, Ginny blushed and didn't respond right away, "Come on, no need to be shy!"

"It's hard to say," Ginny admitted, "I do like him a lot but it's hard with Harry's being the Boy-Who-Lived."

"So snogging him senseless in the south corridor counts as nothing?" Hermione asked a devilish grin on her face, if Ginny was going to make her play, Hermione was going to play dirty.

"HERMIONE!" Ginny squealed, her cheeks turning bright red.

The other girls were shocked, they tried to get more out of Ginny but she refused so say another thing though she did get to send Hermione a few dirty glances.

"Alright Gin, it's your turn!"

"Hermione!" Ginny said, Hermione rolled her eyes, "Truth or Dare?"

There was no way Ginny was going to corner her into answering an extremely revealing question, not this time anyway.

"Dare." Hermione responded taking Ginny by surprise, "Whose the chicken now?" A grin crossed her face.

"Hmm, a dare for Hermione…" Ginny said contemplating what to dare Hermione to do.

"Psst, Ginny!" Melissa a girl in Ginny's year called to Ginny who leaned over to her.

"You're a genius Lissa!" Ginny said clapping her hands in joy, "I dare you to ask Draco Malfoy to be your partner for the term project in Sex Ed!"

What! Hermione was now frozen in shock and fear, surely Ginny wasn't serious! Ginny knew about her intentions of asking Ron, so why did she dare her to ask not only a Slytherin, but her mortal enemy someone who she cannot stand, someone who makes her life miserable. She couldn't even imagine doing the project with him.

"Sorry to interrupt your little powwow ladies but we must steal Hermione, we have a prefect meeting!" Ron said breaking the circle of girls in the common room.

That was it! Prefect meeting, Head Girl, Pansy, Pansy has definitely asked Draco by now to be her partner since the rumor that Pansy and Draco had been arranged to marry every girl in the school decided that Draco was officially off limits much to their dismay. So even if she asked Draco it wouldn't matter because he'd be bound by the spell placed by the Professors! Excellent.

"I accept. I'll do it at the prefect meeting!" Hermione said to Ginny.

"Perfect!" Ginny said, "I'll see you later 'Mione. Let me know how it went." Ginny said with a wink.

"How what went?" Harry and Ron questioned their friend.

"Don't you worry, it doesn't concern you." Hermione said walking through the portrait hole.

* * *

Draco has been sitting in the Great Hall watching all his fellow Prefect walk in and take their seats around the abandoned staff table. Draco was to busy thinking about the Charms exam he was going to have tomorrow then the fact that Pansy was once again clinging on to him. Then Weasely walked in and Draco grimaced, angry that the Gryffindor had been offered the position instead of him. He pulled himself away from Pansy and crossed his arms in anger.

"Alright, so we're all here to plan the Hogsmeade trips and whether to have a Halloween Ball, or a Yule Dance." Weasely had said, holding some pieces of parchment in front of him.

The meeting seemed to drag on for Draco, he didn't care whether Hogsmeade trips were on Saturday or Sunday, he could care less about decorations for Halloween, and he really didn't give two shits about which dance was going to be held this year. He really didn't. He leaned back in his chair and stared at the ever-swirling ceiling of the Great Hall, tonight there was a storm taking place with dark ominous clouds, powerful winds, and lighting.

* * *

The meeting had ended and Hermione was extremely nervous, she couldn't understand why. She was going to ask Draco Malfoy to be her partner is a bloody project, he'd say no because he has Pansy as his partner and it would be fine. She took a deep breath and headed towards the other end of the table.

"Where are you going 'Mione?" Ron asked.

"I'm just completing a dare." Hermione replied with a grin.

Harry and Ron exchanged concerned glances.

Draco noticed that Weasely's girlfriend was walking up to him. It couldn't be, she hated his guts, and he hated hers. Why would she want to talk to him otherwise.

"Draco?" He heard her asked.

He looked up at her confused, not only was she not yelling at him, but she had called him by his first name. There was something definitely wrong.

"What the hell do you want Granger?" Draco replied.

"Would you be my partner for the term project?" She asked.

She did seem serious about the question, there was no hint of a joke in her tone, there was no change in her expression. She was dead serious. At first Draco was annoyed that she had even opened her mouth, but this proposition could be very profitable for him especially with getting Pansy away from him. He grinned.

"Sure, why not." Draco said. Suddenly there was a pop in his ears as if he had just taken off on a muggle airplane, he rubbed his right ear trying to regain normal hearing, not noticing Hermione's shocked expression which now clouded her face.

* * *

Dumbledore had been sitting at his desk nursing a glass of Butterbeer when Professor Sickle burst into the room.

"HEADMASTER!" She cried, banging at his door wildly.

"Come in Lucy."

The Medi-witch burst through the door holding a piece of very long parchment.

"Headmaster, there has to be something wrong with the spell we placed on the project parchment."

"Why is that Lucy?" Dumbledore replied, putting his glasses on.

"Take a look yourself Headmaster." She said holding out the piece of parchment to him.

Dumbledore looked at the parchment carefully analyzing each name.

"I see nothing wrong my dear."

"Look at the last two names sir."

**_Hermione Granger _**(was written in red) **_and Draco Malfoy_** (was written in green)

"Now this is very interesting indeed. Though the group may seem odd there was no mistake with the spell, these two students agreed to be partners." Dumbledore said to the now shocked Professor.

"Amazing…to think that two students of completely opposite houses were able to see past the stereotypes and work together." Professor Sickle said.

"Amazing indeed."

_**TBC**_

* * *

**Hope you like where I'm taking this story now that I've remodeled the first chapter. Leave comments and suggestions!**

**--FC**


	2. Chapter 2

**Sex Ed**

_By Fidelius Charm_

Summary: The teacher's feel it is necessary for all upperclassmen to participate in Sex Ed. But what's even worse is the long-term project. Poor Hermione how will she survive Malfoy and a mechanical baby watching their every move until Christmas?

Note: Thanks for all my reviews! And special thanks to **gyrlfrend** for informing me about anonymous reviews. I didn't even know they had been disabled until I saw your review.

* * *

**A Different Kind of Hat;**

Draco watched as Hermione had walked into their common room, he had dreaded this moment for several reasons most of them false emotions. His father had raised him to hate, and despise, Muggleborns. But he never really understood why he was supposed to hate them; they never did anything to him. He knew that his father rambled on about blood lines but that was never a legitimate answer for Draco, but even if it wasn't he still had to follow his father's orders on pain of the Cruciatus Curse.

"Malfoy." Hermione replied blandly, she retreated to her dorm, which was up the right staircase.

Draco sighed knowing he'd get this kind of treatment from the Gryffindor bookworm. Though he didn't really care, if she didn't want to be social then that was her choice. He on the other hand was going to find his friends.

Once Draco had made it to the Slytherin dungeons he found Blaise, Crabbe, and Goyle waiting for him loyally.

"Hey guys." Draco said coolly.

"I'd hate to be you Draco, having to share a common room with that Mudblood." Goyle said giving him a sympathetic look.

What a nice greeting, Draco thought to himself, always so cheerful. He sighed and decided to let it go, he couldn't be bothered with having a blood line discussion with any of them.

"So did you see our time tables? We have Sex Ed with the Gryffindors first period." Blaise said, "What a stupid class. They should just require it for the Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs as it seems as they seem to be so friendly with one another."

Draco remembered quite well the scandal that had gone on within his tower last year. He found it very irresponsible of the two but couldn't deny that they were truly in love. Even he a cold-hearted Slytherin could see the compassion and dedication the two had for one another, but like everyone else had been surprised at their recklessness. But he guessed a war where people are dying every time you take a breath would make you more anxious to be with someone, to know that someone will be there for you in times of darkness. Not that he needed anyone mind you.

"And that Medi-Witch Sickle is another Mudblood, it's disgusting how we are slowly being surrounded by their presence! My father is going to throw a fit the minute he finds out about this!" Blaise continued mimicking the stern look his father was known for.

"I don't think you should worry boys." A new voice joined their conversation, it was none other then Pansy Parkinson, the one person Draco despised more then Harry Potter, "We'll have a spy within the walls very soon. Someone who I will trust will get the job done, just like last time." She looked directly at Draco, and he picked up what she was saying, "Somebody is turning eighteen soon."

The other three boys finally picked up on what Pansy had been implying, and grinned. Draco tried his best to fake a smirk, trying not to cause any suspicion. The last thing he needed was his classmates doubting his act he played every day. It had taken him years to finally perfect it and he wasn't going to let seven years of work just neatly self-destruct. Yes, Draco Malfoy was the best actor Hogwarts had ever seen.

To the naked eye he was the Slytherin Prince, Future Death Eater, and Snob who had lead the Death Eaters into Hogwarts but to those who knew Draco knew he was just a kid who didn't give a crap about anything or anyone. He was just living and breathing to get by and find a way out of the hellhole he had been put into from birth. The only thing he had ever wanted to achieve was freedom. The freedom to do as one chose to do, the freedom many of his classmates took advantage of.

Suddenly Draco didn't want to be around the gang of Slytherins who didn't have enough capacity to talk about anything but the rise of their master, the Dark Lord. It really was pitiful how they followed the man so blindly. He needed to find some solitude. The library was closed at this hour, and he wasn't in the mood to take the risk of sneaking around, guess it was back to the common room for him. Without even saying goodbye he walked away from his four classmates, who were used to the treatment.

* * *

After a night haunted by insomnia and frustration Draco was glad he no longer had to share a dorm with Crabbe, Goyle, and Blaise who would be annoying him about going down to breakfast by now. He changed into his uniform washed his face and ran his hands through his hair, not in any way shape or form caring about what it looked like. He was about to walk out of the bathroom when he rushed back in and fixed his hair properly. Okay he was lying to himself maybe there were _some_ things he cared about.

* * *

When he entered the Great Hall everyone was already leaving. Apparently breakfast had ended before Draco had arrived. This sucked, majorly. He groaned in disappointment as large crowds of students rushed by him, trying to get to their first period classes on time, and speaking of first period classes, where the hell was his? Oh well, he'd find someone to guide him in the right direction eventually. And he did.

His first period class was in the abandoned classroom by the Hospital Wing, which was a serious annoyance since it was so far away from the Great Hall. He knew he was going to be late, but then again so was Pansy who was desperately holding on to his left arm for dear life. He also knew it was pointless to try and get her to detach herself so he decided to just ignore her presence completely. He burst threw doors to be greeted by about a hundred or so faces staring at Pansy and himself.

"And who might you be?" A woman, who was sitting on top of the large desk in the front questioned her black box framed glasses slipping slightly lower on the bridge of her nose.

"Pansy Parkinson ma'am." Pansy said sugar coating her voice as best as possible.

"And you young man?" The woman, who was obviously the Professor, questioned directly at Draco.

"Draco Malfoy, but if you don't mind I'd like the skip the questioning and just sit down and get this done with as soon as possible." Draco said claiming the seat nearest him, which caused Pansy to quickly follow suit.

"10 points from Slytherin for your fresh mouth, I refuse to receive that kind of tone in my classroom. Do I make myself clear Mr. Malfoy?" She said pushing her glasses up.

"Crystal ma'am." Draco said with out any hesitation.

The room again was silent for another moment, but then Professor Sickle regained her composure and continued her speech.

"As I was saying, this class is to teach you about Sex, and the information that goes along with it." This caused a group of Slytherin girls to giggle.

"Would you three like to be examples for the class of what sex is?" Professor Sickle replied slightly smirking. Draco had to give it to her she was definitely brutally sarcastic. When she got no response she continued, "As I thought." She said returning her attention to the entire class. "So the lesson will start with this."

The Professor pulled out a piece of long latex, and with both hands stretched it out.

"This is called a prophylactic or simply a condom, and since most of you aren't old enough to perform the Contraceptive Charm outside of these walls I will teach you about the muggle way to remain safe during sex." This caused many of the Slytherins around them to squirm in their seats.

This was definitely going to be a long class.

* * *

**This chapter ended up being more about developing Draco's character in this fic then the actually class and the first layer of my plot. Though you did get some hints about the core of my plot but I'm not going to say another word. Sorry about it being so short, but so you don't hate me the next post should be fairly soon since I've fractured my ankle and all I can do is sit around and spend time on the computer!**

**--FC**


	3. Chapter 3

**Sex Ed**

_By Fidelius Charm_

Summary: The teacher's feel it is necessary for all upperclassmen to participate in Sex Ed. But what's even worse is the long-term project. Poor Hermione how will she survive Malfoy and a mechanical baby watching their every move until Christmas?

Note: As I did for the readers of my other story I want to make it very clear that once I start a story I will not stop until it is completed. It's just the way I am; I need one story to be finished before I start another one. And no, I will not be abandoning this story I like the plot and characterization of the characters too much to abandon this story.

* * *

**Husband Shopping!**

Hermione sat in her seat as she listened half-heartedly to the lecture Professor Sickle was giving about protected sex. It was very embarrassing, and Hermione could feel her cheeks burn slightly. Hermione turned to Harry who was sitting next to her and Ginny and his face color rivaled that of Ron's hair whose face was even redder then his hair, if that was even humanly possible.

"During sex a condom might break…" Professor Sickle continued, "So they aren't always a one hundred percent safe guard. So having sex is still a risk no matter how protected you think you are."

Hermione tuned out the young Professor and looked around the room, noticing how the normally nonchalant Slytherins were evening shifting in their seats and giving each other embarrassed gazes. She then notices Malfoy who had rudely burst into class late, and then spoke rudely to the teacher. If it would have been anyone else she would have been shocked but it was Draco Malfoy, and he was known for his rude behavior.

She then noticed how he looked like this whole speech wasn't bothering him at all; it was very mature of him. Hermione scolded herself of thinking Malfoy was anything but a slimy git who deserved nothing but rot in Azkaban and returned her attention to the Professor.

"Since I know there are a large group of you who aren't taking me seriously I think it would best to administer the best kind of birth control." Professor Sickle said getting off of her desk and walking towards a large cherry wood cabinet and opening it slightly, "We will be starting our class project today!"

This cued a chorus of moans and groans from all the students Slytherin and Gryffindor alike. Professor Sickle laughed.

"I know you are all as excited as I am." Professor Sickle said pulling out a top hat from the cabinet, "This project will last from now until the end of the semester." Yet another chorus of complaints, "It's a very cliché muggle project but with a wizarding twist."

"I could only imagine." Ron muttered, he placed his head on the desk and sighed.

"It couldn't be that bad." Hermione said patting his back.

"You all with be caring for a mechanical baby for the next four months in groups of two. And not just any babies, magical enchanted baby who act like real infants." Professor Sickle said with a grin, "And we will be picking partners today! These partners will be your temporary husbands, to love and to hold through sickness and in health." Professor Sickle said taking joy in the reactions of the girls through out the room. And tomorrow I will assign the babies! It'll have to be a pick honey moon then." Sickle whispered the last part under her breath. "Will all the female students make a line in the middle of the room, we will all be picking a name out of the hat!"

Hermione grumbled, Ron had been right. This project was bloody horrible. By the time Hermione and Ginny reached the end of the line they were the two last girls on line. Hermione could over hear certain girls whispering to be paired with a certain boy; Hermione didn't care as long as it wasn't a Slytherin. She'd even work with Colin if that meant she didn't have to work with a Slytherin.

"Wait a second ladies, it seems we have one extra boy, which means this extra boy has to pick as well." There was a silence, "Harry Potter will you join the line please?"

Hermione sighed, of course poor Harry had to join the line and be the only male/male group. He never seemed to be able to catch a break, Hermione gestured for Harry to join her. He gave her a shrug of his shoulders and joins her at the end of the line.

"Of course, Harry Potter saver of the world has to deal with this kind of nonsense." Harry whispered in her ear. Hermione laughed at Harry's comical attitude.

"Just pray you don't get Malfoy." Hermione whispered back laughing at the poor girl who picked him.

"God spare me." Harry whispered back.

Before Hermione knew it there were only three girls ahead of her, then two, then just Ginny.

"Miss. Weasely who did you pick?" Professor Sickle questioned curiously.

"Neville Longbottom ma'am." Ginny said blushing slightly.

"Splendid!" Professor Sickle smiled and gave Ginny a wink. Hermione concluded that the Professor had picked up on the chemistry between the two Gryffindors.

"Ah Miss. Granger, Head Girl, I am very curious who you will pick." The Professor grinned mischievously.

Hermione stuck her hand into the top hat and grabbed the second to last piece of folded parchment, she unfolded it neatly and read the name which had been written neatly in dark green ink:

Draco Malfoy 

Hermione had to look twice in order for the situation to register completely. She had picked Draco Malfoy, couldn't she of picked someone else? Why not Ron, or Dean, or Colin or even Seamus, she could of dealt with the irresponsibility of any of those choices but no she had to deal with arrogant, greasy, nasty Draco Malfoy, bastard extraordinaire. She crumbled the piece of paper into a ball and threw it angrily into the waste bin.

"Who did you pick Miss. Granger?" Professor Sickle asked even more curious at who the person was after the reaction the paper had gotten.

"Draco Malfoy." Hermione mumbled, not wanting to say it.

"Sorry deary, who was it?"

"**DRACO MALFOY, OKAY!**" Hermione screamed, her face red no longer of embarrassment, Hermione stormed back to her seat and crossed her arms looking dangerously at anyone who gave her a wrong look.

Hermione couldn't believe what was happening. She had to temporarily be "married" to Draco Malfoy and take care of a magical baby. She couldn't think of a worse situation, she'd rather face Voldemort one on one with nothing but a muggle Slinky (1) then have to deal with Malfoy.

Everyone had been so enthralled with the situation with Hermione that no one had noticed who Harry had picked out of the hat, something that Harry had been thankful for, for his pick made Harry's heart skip a beat.

* * *

(1) I love Slinkies, you cannot deny the greatness of that which is the Slinky!Yet, another short chapter. But I kind of like to write this story in short chapters it captures the short and suddenness of everything going on. Don't worry another chapter will be up soon! 

**--FC**


	4. Chapter 4

**Sex Ed**

_By Fidelius Charm_

Summary: The teacher's feel it is necessary for all upperclassmen to participate in Sex Ed. But what's even worse is the long-term project. Poor Hermione how will she survive Malfoy and a mechanical baby watching their every move until Christmas?

Note: I haven't updated since the 20th because I had to send my brother off to college and it was a very long process, my mom didn't want to leave my brother so we ended up staying longer then we were suppose too but its alright because I'm here now and can type chapters uninterrupted until my school year starts which is on the 7th on September. I shudder at the thought.

* * *

**Divorce Court**

Draco sat in his chair in utter silence, this situation couldn't have been any worse. Not only did he have to take care of a magical baby but he had to do so with a girl who completely hated his guts. He rubbed his temples, and tried to calm the headache that was slowly growing.

"Poor Draco." He heard one of his classmates say, "Has to work with that Mudblood bitch."

Draco looked up and noticed that Hermione had heard the comment, and saw the look of hurt in her eyes thought her form did not give away any weakness. Draco didn't need to deal with this, he would ask the teacher for a partner change.

"And by the way," Professor Sickle added, "There will be no partner changes, these partners are final. Class dismissed."

With that the hoard of upperclassmen rose from their seats and gathered their things trying their best to get out of the classroom as soon as possible. Draco just sat in his seat, and allowed everyone to rush around him.

"Draco dear are you coming, we have Charms now." He heard Pansy said placing a hand on his shoulder.

He immediately swatted her hand away but didn't turn to face her when he replied,

"Go on ahead, I have something I have to take care of first."

"I'll wait for you Draco dear. I don't mind." Pansy replied sitting down next to him and wrapping her arm around his.

"It's fine Pansy." Draco said pulling his arm away. He was in no mood to deal with Pansy's need to clutch on to him, "Now get away from me."

Pansy stood up in a huff and stormed out obviously upset about the way Draco had treated her, not that Draco cared what she thought. Once the room was completely empty Draco was about to approach the Professor but he had been beaten to it.

"Professor Sickle, there must be some way to change partners!" The voice belonged to none other then his 'wife' Hermione Granger.

"I'm sorry Miss. Granger there is nothing I can do for you. This partnership is like a marriage you can't just exchange your partner or in this case husband for another one."

"Then I want a divorce! I can't be _married_ to someone who **_hates_** me!"

"I don't think your partner hates you Miss. Granger," Professor Sickle replied gathering some papers from her desk, "Do you Mr. Malfoy?"

Draco wasn't expecting to be noticed and was caught off guard by the question.

"I don't think hate would be the appropriate word." Draco replied, "More of indifference."

"Indifference my ass Malfoy." Hermione sneered giving Draco a dirty look.

"Such behavior from the Head Girl, I'm stunned!" Draco said faking a shocked look.

"Shove it Malfoy." Hermione replied crossing her arms and turning her back to him.

"You're giving me a headache Mudblood." Draco replied not remembering the heritage of the Professor before him.

"MR. MALFOY!" Professor Sickle roared, "How dare you utter such words, its disgusting and degrading to use that word. Fifty points from Slytherin and you'll be serving detention with me tonight."

Draco sighed; he should've remembered the teacher was Muggleborn. But no he was so busy trying to piss Granger off he had forgotten that. Draco shook his head at his stupidity, and turned and left the room, leaving two very infuriated women.

"Please Professor, you see how he treats me! I can't work with him! I'll work with anyone else!" Draco heard Hermione plead.

"I wish I could change your partner but the Hat choose who you will work with. The hat was enchanted with a Selection Charm it chose the most suitable person for you to work with, and if you try and work with anyone else the charm will fail you automatically. I should've taken this kind of situation into consideration before I planned this project, I'm so sorry Hermione." Professor Sickle replied.

Just great, this was perfect. Draco was stuck with Granger or fail the term project. And if he failed his father would have a fit and force him to leave Hogwarts due to 'inadequate education' or some crap like that. And that wouldn't do, that wouldn't do at all. Draco needed to take his NEWTS and graduate Hogwarts in order to get away from his family, and he wouldn't let one girl stand in his way.

Draco made his way towards Charms, and again he burst in during the middle of the Professor's speech. He was speaking about the Fidelius Charm, a very powerful and difficult charm. He sighed and ignored the Professor scolding him for being late taking his seat next to Blaise.

"And I've been informed of your um…term project for Sex Ed." The professor himself seemed a bit embarrassed, "I will inform you that my fellow teachers and I are willing to help you if you need any help learning child care spells."

Draco tuned everything out and closed his eyes. He needed to get out of here, because his head was ready to explode. He raised his hand and asked to be excused to go to the bathroom and quickly ran out. Once he was out of the classroom he decided he could use a stroll around the grounds.

It had been a good fifteen minutes before Draco realized that he was in front of the Forbidden Forest. He looked into the forest and saw nothing but darkness, then he heard something…a small muffled sound. Draco decided it would be best to investigate. Draco walked slowly into the forest being extremely cautious with each step. Suddenly the sound became louder and more define, he looked around a huge oak tree to be greeted by an extremely large herd of centaurs.

* * *

CLIFFHANGER! Sorry…new chapter should be up soon.

**--FC**


	5. A Note

I'm sorry if you thought this was a chapter, but unfortunately it is not. I've re read the past four chapters and I don't really like what I see. There's so true characterization, or plot, or anything. I'm very disappointed in what is happening so far.

**BUT DO NOT FEAR** this does not mean I'm abandoning the story, I'm going to rewrite the chapters in order to show off my true writing skill. It may take a while so you all must bear with me. I can't go on writing the story with base chapters like these.

Love, Peace, and Happy Writing,

_Fidelius Charm_


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